A Public Announcement from Mayor Bibs Fisk

Mayor Bibs Fisk Declares Beaver Pond a

“Pitbull Farm Free” Zone

In response to anxieties shared by Beaver Pond residents over Cousin Bones’ stated intention of starting a Pitbull farm on his property, Mayor Bibs Fisk has stepped in and declared Beaver Pond as a “Pitbull Farm Free” zone. At a recent performance of the House of LeMay, Cousin Bones and his band, “The Decoys,” made light of his intentions of raising Pitbulls for the cruel and inhumane blood sport of dog-fighting. Upon hearing of this, Mayor Fisk reviewed local ordinances and determined that the presence of Pitbull farms, and the practice of dog-fighting in general, was not currently prohibited. It seems that the town’s ban on cock fighting- the prohibition of arranged fights between fowl and other barnyard animals- was deemed not to apply to Pitbulls, a species not traditionally raised for food or sport (oddly, it was found to prohibit fights between Amber and Marguerite LeMay’s boyfriends). Under Mayor Fisk’s declaration , it is illegal to fight, or raise for fighting purposes, any animals, domesticated or otherwise, within the confines of Beaver Pond. The local chapter of the Humane Society has come out in support of the mayor’s efforts, calling it yet another example of her continuing efforts to better the world.

tags: gay vermont  house of lemay  drag  farm  gay  comedy  vt  vermont  queen  burlington  free zone  dogs  beaver pond  pit bull  the decoys  

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