Punch'em in the WHAAAT?

We all know by now that Bill Simmon and his Candleblog beat us out for Best Non-Political Blog for this year's Seven Days readers Daysie Awards.  Well, if he keeps posting things like this song... "Punch'em in the Dick", I may vote for him next year.

Click on the title above to hear it... here are the lyrics for you to sing along... but not at work.  Oh, and Bill, you asked who could make a video for it?  We did a pretty good job with Oxygen!

Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Fuckers talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick
(Bow!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Motherfuckers talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick

Yo look at that chump
See the way that he struts
Don't kick him in the rump
Go nuts on his nuts
Just pop a squat
Start lettin' off the shots
Like knock knock knock
Just coldcocked his rooster OR reproductive organ (context permitting)
Yo, to all the rooster OR reproductive organ (context permitting)-knockers
Nut-crackers
Ball-breakers
Peter-beaters
Keep on boxing your baby makers
With a sock to the jock
Better make that a double
Just a couple of rounds of knuckles
Beneath the buckle and he'll buckle
If you're in trouble
Give him some urine trouble
Hand him his balls
And tell him better learn to juggle
Turn his pebbles into rubble
Make him wonder what might've been
Make it so the South will never rise again

Now every man claims to be the toughest and the meanest
Watch your crocks, because soon the losers will be your weenus
And the winners in all the gladiator arenas
Are always the ones that go straight for the penis

So punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
motherhugger talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick
(B'low!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
motherhugger talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick

Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
motherhugger talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick
(Bow!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
You motherfuckers talk shit
I'ma punch 'em in the dick

I'll give your willy a welt
Like you ain't never felt
Soon as I'm knelt
I'ma pelt you below the belt
Like Bang!
Bust em' in the wang
Like it ain't no thang
Now you really can't hang

But you ain't gotta be a dude
Shit, I'll dick-punch a chick
Because I don't discriminate
When I punch em' in the dick
Whether Suzie Homemaker or a floozy home-wrecker
I'ma deck'er in the pecker, mother-fecker

It could be your mama
Better be no drama
You could be the Dalai llama
I'ma still put it on ya
With a right, left, right, left
Yo dick punched
Then you say Goddam, my shit's crunched
Scrotum? I damn near killed 'em
I capped him in (?) the boner, man
Forget about children
You ain't got enough kung-fu to bust some ninja shit
hug Sun-Tzu, you want to learn the Art of Won

Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Motherfuckers talk shit
Straight punch 'em in the dick
(B'low!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
You motherfuckers talk shit
Straight punch 'em in the dick

Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Motherfuckers talk shit
Straight punch 'em in the dick
(B'ow!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
You motherfuckers talk shit
Punch 'em in the dick

We
Got
A brand new dance
Called punch his ass right in the dick

We
Got
A brand new dance
Called punch his ass right in the dick

Any of you snotty kids be talkin' shit
I'ma drop a fist on your naughty bits
I got punches a'plentiful
You bet your rear-end it'll sting
When I start swingin' on your genitals
Because then it'll swell up all out of proportion
Lookin' like an eggplant forced into your foreskin
Nevermind abortion
Forget vasectomy
I got your birth-control... B'low!
Nut-check, homey

I punched God in the dick
I punched Mary in the dick
I punched Jesus Christ in the dick
Yo, I punched Cheney in the dick
I punched Powell in his colon
I punched George in his Bush
I punched Condoleezza Rice in the diiiiiick

Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Punch 'em in the dick
(What)
Motherfuckers talk shit
Straight punch 'em in the dick
(B'low!)
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
You motherfuckers talk shit
What, I'ma punch 'em in the dick
Blaaah!

Punch 'em in the dick
(Ungh)
Punch 'em in the dick
(Ungh)
Motherfuckers talk shit
Straight punch 'em in the dick
Blaaah!

Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Punch 'em in the diiiiick
Motherfuckers talk shit
Yo, punch 'em in the dick

Gonna punch 'em in the dick
Watch me punch 'em in the dick
Love to punch 'em in the dick
Born to punch 'em in the dick
Forever punch 'em in the dick
Sucker punch 'em in the dick
Fruit punch 'em in the dick
Hawaiian punch 'em in the motherfuckin' diiiick
 

tags: gay vermont  candleblog  bill simmon  seven days  daysie awards  punchem in the dick  oxygen  video  

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