Beaver Pond Annual Town Meeting Day Recap...

To read the pre-Town Meeting Day post, click HERE. 

For Immediate  Relealse : Beaver Pond Annual Meeting Recap                     

Beaver Pond,  Vt.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

March 5, 2008
 

I want to thank all the citizens of Beaver Pond who showed up to participate in the annual Vermont ritual of Town Meeting Day. It was a very busy, and productive time for us, especially the portion of the morning devoted to a tutorial on the rules for applying cosmetics (thanks Lucy Belle) and maintaining proper body hygiene (thanks Nurse Ann Thrax). Oh, and a special thanks to Margaurite LeMay for volunteering to help Lucy and Ann demonstrate the dos and don'ts (mostly don'ts). Just remember, no more white makeup around the eyes-- and please remember to apply plenty of baby powder to all the wet spots!

As mentioned in the pre-meeting notice, one of the issues we took up for discussion was whether or not Beaver Pond would enact a local law allowing all women employed within the vicinity of our town to pump their breasts while at work to produce breast milk for their babies. Contrary to Amber LeMay's scathing suggestions, this measure was put on the town's agenda by Liza Little, not me. Now that her romance with Pierre LaBatt is heating up, it seems that Liza is hoping that she might someday have little beavers of her own, and wants to be able to pump while at work at the Laundromat, Library,  Community  Center and Lint Musuem. She figures that she should still be able to pump with one hand and fold laundry and empty lint traps with the other. Anyway, Liza introduced the measure, which was quickly seconded by Cousin Nanette, proprietor of "Nanette's This 'N That, who also graciously provided us with those beautiful plastic tablecloths left over from her shop's 75% off Christmas Sale for our Town Meeting Day Potluck (thanks Nanette, we're looking forward to the Easter tablecloths you'll provide for our 4th of July festivities!). As surmised, Bones quickly moved to amend the proposal to also allow men the option of pumping while at work. Needless to say, all hell almost broke loose when Cousin Crystal threatened to throttle anyone who seconded Bone's proposed amendment, and the amendment quickly failed. After much discussion, and a promise by Liza to pump only in the morning hours when kids are in school, the measure passed and will become law on July 1, 2008.

Other issues addressed were what to do with the old Moran Plant, a long defunct energy/heating plan that has gone into disrepair, and a proposal to indict President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney as war criminals. Ultimately, the Amber LeMay's proposal to revitalize the Moran Plant was tabled in order to allow the town to look into who actually holds title to the structure-- the citizens of Beaver Pond or those of Beaver Creek. Assuming that title rests with Beaver Pond, initial plans are to turn the plant into a breeding and training center for the rare Lipizzaner Stallions as well as a Cake Decorating Institute that will focus on teaching children the art of fine cake and dessert decorating.

As to the Bush/Cheney war crimes resolution, it was proposed by Bucky Snatcher and eagerly seconded by a slew of citizens. The measure passed overwhelming, with an added amendment authorizing me to dispatch Officer Sandy Leachfield to Washington, DC to arrest President Bush and Vice President Cheney and bring them back to Beaver Pond where they will be subjected to waterboarding and then tarred and feathered. I'll be working with Officer Leachfield to schedule this event closer to spring so that we can combine it with our annual Beaver Pond Float and Bloat and Sap Tappin' picnic. Stay tuned!

As to the Presidential Primary, I'm still counting ballots. There looks like there was a strong turn out for Barrack Obama, but there were a number of absentee ballots that still have not been counted. I brought the ballots home with me and will post the results as soon as I'm done.

Well, I think that pretty well wraps up our business from Town Meeting 2008. As usual, our thanks go out to the Lady Beavers Auxiliary for the scrumptious potluck that was provided.  I look forward to seeing you next year!

Mayor Bibs Fisk

Amber addressing Mayor Bibs Fisk at a previous Town Meeting Day. 

tags: gay vermont  town meeting day vt  vermont town meetings  vermont  burlington  drag  drag queen  comedy  beaver pond  breast pump  breast milk  president bush  dick cheney  lipizzaner stallions  war crimes  waterboarding  barrack obama  2008  

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