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Watch out Lucy...Liza may be gunning for her own title!

posted Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Well HELLO, HELLO, HELLO DER DARLINS:

Oops, I fergot, I must not shout,

So Hello der darlin's...

 There is this better?

 Its been such a long time since I've been able to post anything other than comments.  So hows 'bout a little ketchup cats up catch up.

 For many of you've who've been askin', I have not yet been ex-co-imuneicated by the House of LeMay.  No sir, indeed e do, seeing that we members of the House of LeMay are a competitive lot, and Lucy Belle has done so well fer herself in the recognition and awards department (Check out Lucy's entries if you haven't yet) I figured that I'd best get to hardly working on somefin that would be worthy of recognition as well.  

So when I got right down to it and without any forethought I got my name in Beaver Pond's Weekly Annotated Notes To Entertain Devotees (also known as Beaver Pond's W.A.N.T.E.D.)  I even made the Top 10 List.  Ain't that just grande?!?

Accordingly I was bestowed with a new title all of my own.  It even comes with capital letters and numbers kinda like being a member of the MBBBPA & Troupe Leader of the LBBPT69.     

For those of you who missed the particulars of this issue of Beaver Pond's W.A.N.T.E.D. I hesitate in the interest of modesty to reveal too much.  But as the other girls are on a gag order not likely to speak of my title themselves I will reveal some (but not all) now....

Elizabeth "Liza" Little is now afforded the title of DUI-2 after her name.  Said title came & still comes with all the rights and priviliges and responsibilities inherent in its award.  A mere smattering of which are....

 

  • An impromptu video recording at the expense of the State of Vermont with special attraction lights and sounds provided at no additional cost - in which Liza demonstrates how to dance, twirl, follow the line down the side of the road and even lift a heel in the air.  (the link for my video is not yet available.But go to check this out for some ideas   - the first minute is standard the last 54 seconds are hilarious & don't get caught of guard with the surprise ending :)

 

  •  The use of the appropriatly named "handi-cuffs" for sizing up future braclet and wrist restraints.  (If given the choice I recommend asking for the Pink Fur Lined cuffs- these are a little warmer in the cool night air.)

 

  • A front row seat in a State Sponsered Parade with you as the master of ceremonies (here the lights and sound effects may be optional) through the center of Town.  Unfortunatly, due to the bulleted item directly above, waving to the crowds can be difficult so I suggest just wear your happy smile and nod & bob alot.

 

  • Free Archived Computerized Image Advaced Locator - known now as the F.A.C.I.A.L.- in which your image is captured for future posterity and potential publication with Entertainment Tonight.

 

  • Believe it or not, contrary to G.W.Bush's abstainence only programing, the State of Vermont really promotes giving good blows and they provide several delightful mechnizimes which I gather test your "blowing" abilities measured as a percentage of your body weight.  Apparantly I did well with the recognied awards being given if you rate a .08 I got a wopping .147.  Not quite twice as great at the State recognition but hey the night was young when they held my try-outs.

 

  • Once you pass the blow test the award ceramonies begin with all kinds of Official Certificates in Gold, Cream and even two in Pink.  Of course State Budgets and all you'll need to purchase your own frames. (Hey, Lucy do you have a few unused frames I could borrow.)

 

  • Lastly, just to satisfy any need to announce your winnings and get your name once again in the Beaver Pond W.A.N.T.E.D I was given a date to appear before the Judges and go on public record as to why deserve this title.

 

Well so much for this entry if you've read this far you'll be sure to check back for my upcomming entries such as...

 

 How to hit a Opposum and NOT get a DUI...

I am not a Drunk (I go to meetings now!) 

Judge Judge here cum da Judge...

Guest of the Govenor & Other Pajama Party Stories.

 

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1. Amber LeMay left...
Wednesday, 12 September 2007 8:02 am

Liza -it is SO good to hear from you!!! We were worried... we thought maybe you and Pierre LaBatt had eloped or something. While the bartenders at Ruby's may not be happy with your sobriety, those of us close to you will be very supportive of your decision. All the more for us!!!

I was reading one of the NY rags and they said that Owen Wilson had hired a $750-a-day "sober buddy" to help him keep straight... hmmmm.... If I paid a "buddy" that much, I doubt if he'd be sober and he sure as HELL better not make me straight!!!

Hope to hear more of your progress....

Hugs, Amber


2. Lucy Belle left...
Thursday, 13 September 2007 8:21 am

Liza, Liza, Liza! You be careful of what title you gun for. During that PJ party make sure you keep the flap in the front, and when in the shower don't bend over to pick up the soap when someone drops it. Keep your hands above the waist. Let me know if you want me to bake you a cake.